First blog who dis? I'll try to make this as painless as possible but no promises. Also, I hope you like humor because now that I look back on this story it's kinda humorous. So the "Craigslist Guy"... who might this be you ask... none other than an ex. Ha. Just a woman talking trash on her ex... what do you expect? It's not trash talk, it's me expressing my "feelings". Once upon a time... I met this guy at church. He was cute and interesting. He came up to me while I was unlocking my car door. He was confident but not enough to ask for my number up front but after a couples times of saying "hi" and "bye" to me in church, he asked me out. We had pizza. We went through the honeymoon phase. Everything was good. Couple months later we start to become one of those on and off couples. GROSS. TOXIC. EW. I was in love. I was hooked on a man 10 years older than me. I'm so good. Well, this man and I had everything in common. The early childhood trauma, 80s music, and social awkwardness. We were perfect for each other. We started to get in that stage were you actually get to know each other on a crazy level. Like you start to realize actually how crazy you are. Like I'm CRAZY. But I was following Jesus at the time, hardcore, and I held back the crazy a little. He was honestly special to me. I learned a lot about myself and the type of men I like. Mama boys... can you honestly help it? Either way we were stuck. One day he wanted to get real with me and HONEST. Honesty is...... tragic. I mean we have to do it but sometimes it's best to shut the hell up and keep it to yourself. KIDDING. Well this guy wanted to be real honest with me. Porn addiction.19 year old me dealing with a 30 year old man's porn addiction. Now being the loving-toxic person I am. I felt bad for him. He was a virgin. He loved God. I was his first kiss. First everything. I know what you're thinking. I wasn't dating Steve Carell. I was dating the 10 year younger Steve Carell. Corny, I know. Either way I was supportive. I would help unsubscribe from porn sites. I tried blocking websites and emails. Whatever I could do to help. We dated for a couple months after that. Thanksgiving time is a time for family and loved ones. Well because I was madly in love with this guy but we "weren't dating". TOXIC. We decided to go to Utah. Zion National Park to be exact. I was excited, happy, and felt loved. We danced in a pizza shop in front of the workers. I was in love. I thought this was forever. Also, we loved pizza. We hiked and got lost in the land. Now guys, this is the part that gets real. I trusted this man. I never had my doubts that he would cheat or anything. I never went through his phone... EVER. The woman gut in me decided to go through his phone while he was in the shower. To this day I don't know why. I just wanted to. If I go through a phone... BITCH I GO THROUGH THE PHONE. I looked everywhere. I get to the emails and I didn't think I would find anything because I already helped him get rid of porn sites on it so I had already seen what's in it. I saw a email from craigslist. The email stated someone had responded to a ad. Backstory this guy sold vintage clothes as a side job and so I didn't think much of it but I took a little peek. I open the ad and it's says " BBW girl looking for a guy like you. When do you want to meet? I'm ready to f*ck if you are. I'm just the girl for you." I thought to myself... damn these porn sites are getting to weird. I click on the ad......... God help me. THIS MAN POST A AD OF HIMSELF! He posted on craigslist like it was the damn 70s. He was seeking a BBW girl to do stuff with and to top it all off he post a picture of himself in the ad with only boxers on. I didn't know what to do. I'm 19 for crying aloud. I just sit there. I don't even know what to feel. I felt gross and dirty. He gets out of the shower and I confronted him. And this guy... all he says is it is what it is. He says "Think whatever you want of me. I'm me and no one can change that. I get judged all the time and I don't care." At this point, I leave the house and drive up the mountain. I call my mom and friends freaking out. I should have left his ass there but I'm not that crazy. I just sucked it up, went back and acted like nothing happen and so did he. We went back to Kansas City and went our separate ways. We didn't talk for a couple months. He calls me and asks me to meet up and talk. I agree because why not? We meet up and talk about what we've been up to and how HE misses me. I was still hurt. I expressed that to him and he didn't care. He didn't care. In that moment I knew what I needed to do. THE QUEEN IN ME CAME OUT. In my head at least. I told him to forget it and we should be "friends". I knew he liked kissing me and liked my company. So I still went out with him... while I was befriending a couple other guys. Don't hate the player, hate the game. Oldest rule in the book. Fast forward to New Years. Everyone was on their same shit. NEW YEAR, NEW BITCH. Well, this guy invited me to a New Years Eve party but I had a side dude that wanted me at a party too. Perfect. I went to the party with the craigslist guy. We're having fun, everyone is laughing. Right before midnight, I told him I had to go. So he walks me out and kisses me. He asks why I can't stay. I state I have another date to go to. HIS FACE. He was shook. He asked how long I had been seeing the guy. He asked why I would do this. He asked how long? But the biggest question was " Have you slept with this guy?" I looked this craigslist guy in the face and I said Yes, of course! He cried. I dripped and had New Years sex. Craigslist can kiss my ass.
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