Be Strong

I feel so alone

Yet I’m surrounded by so much

I feel so empty

Yet I’m filled with so much love

Why am I here?

Why do I feel like I don’t belong?

Why do I think this way?

They say “Be strong.“

They say “I’m always here for you!”

They say “You will hurt so many people if you kill yourself!”

They say “That’s so selfish!”

Yet

When I need them the most they aren’t strong enough to hear it - or don't want to

When I need them the most they are no where to be found - “you’ve reached the voicemail of” - for the sixth time this week

When I kill myself they show up to my funeral wondering why

“Why would she do this?”

“Why didn’t she just call?”

“Why is she so selfish?”

As I watch from above

I ask why

Why do you show up now when you couldn’t show up for me when I needed you the most?

Why did you answer the call to my death but not the call to prevent it?

I told you I felt so alone

And you said "Just be strong."

Be

Strong

Two words

So simple right?

But I am strong.

I'm here aren't I?