Age is growing on me

I thought I was the type of person who stayed in friendships/relationships for years. Which is true. I have multiple friends that I've maintained relationships with for 18 years. Of course we've had our fair shares of fights and disagreements but we've overcame and continued on.

This past year though I've realized I'm the one putting in a GREAT amount of effort in my relationships. Any relationship is going to take patience, kindness, and forgiveness but how long and how much can you truly take?

At what point do you take a stand?

I know as we grow older and life becomes more hectic we tend to forget to respond or we get wrapped up in our day to day lives. But for days???

For weeks? Sometimes months?

How is it fair?

Especially when you have other relationships where the effort and consideration is there.

It's not just the ghosting, it's the lack of any effort to support and just be a friend.

I'm such a people pleaser and fixer. I'm also extremely empathetic to a fault.

But there comes a time in a growing mindset we come to realize that letting go can let in so much more than we know.

Letting go doesn't necessarily mean blocking someone but it means standing up for yourself and saying I deserve better than this. I deserve at least the same effort I put in.

Just like life you get what you put into it.

Just like your mind you receive what thoughts you let consume you.

Just like your heart you feel what you let in.

Of course I'm scared to be alone. I'm scared I won't find new friends. I believe it's a natural feeling especially since I've been friends with these people for almost two decades.

But I'm releasing what doesn't serve me for the better.

I'm letting go of so much sadness from being ghosted, ignored, and forgotten.

And I'm letting in the sunset of a new day.

I'm letting in hope.

And hope is the only thing stronger than fear itself.

Hope is my new friendship and she is beautiful and bright.